What Would Baby Me Do

Interestingly enough, I’ve thought this exact concept on my own- and very recently. When Clare Pooley writes about the strategy (a very effective one) of invisioning the purest innocent child-you and invisioning what you want for her. 

As I’ve said, I’ve done this recently. What triggered this thought process in me was watching a video recorded on an over-sized camcorder in July of 1993 that my dad sent me not long ago along with another one of me dancing with cat ears on. 

Firstly, I was extremely cute. Like undeniably cute. Perfect bangs (ahem, which I still maintain) and little ringlets that laid bouncing around my baby neck. I was on the skinny side for a tiny tot but still round enough and yes I’m going to say this: incredibly smart. 

The video pictures me sitting in the middle of my parents bed holding a book on birds (a bird watching guide) and funnily enough I remember this book. I remember that the pages were glossy and thick and the illustrations were quite gorgeous. And I’m reading. Reading aloud to my doting dad and to myself- now I didn’t know words yet. But I had the idea of a sentence structure completely down. My sister-in-law who is a SLP like my brother and who has a deep understanding of childhood development said “Jess I knew you were smart but my god, that’s just not normal- in the best way.”

Now that me. That baby me- has made me feel a lot of feelings recently. Firstly: it’s proved to me that if I were an adult and around baby me I would think to myself “wow this little girl is going to grow up and be something, a professor, an author or I don’t know- something important.” 

Secondly: my god I would never want to hear that that little bright light grew up to be a booze guzzling sad-sack that holds herself back from her true potential. Or that shed end up smoking cigarettes, or doing any sort of recreational drug. 

So the concept of envisioning your baby-self has got me thinking. What made me happy when I was young? What did I get truly thrilled about? What did I want out of life in those purest of days?

Writing. I wanted to write and write and I wanted to publish a book. I wanted to keep writing until I became the most famous author in the entire world and my parents would be beaming at me from the podium along with my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Hunter (who really believed and supported me). 

I’m going to let this soak in. 

Also, tomorrow will be a full week sober. Oh and it’s Halloween- my favorite holiday. I’m going to try to make it as special as possible.

Xo 

NLD