One Month Sober

 Well, almost. Close enough that it counts. On Wednesday I will be 30 days without booze and I'm honestly shocked I am even typing this. 

I didn't think this would happen- at least I didn't think it would happen this young, or without a dire reason. A reason like, for example, a team of doctors standing over me while one addresses me- "Ms. Smith, we are sorry to have to give you this news. But if a drop of alcohol ever touches your lips again- you will self-implode."

Benefits:

I think better.

I don't feel the need to rush SO to bed.

I have clearer skin and I feel more confident and pretty.

I have been exponentially more productive at work, at home, and in articulating my goals.

I spend less time on social media.

I spend more time at night taking care of myself and my skincare.

I'm less exhausted in the morning.

I sleep better and I'm learning to love sleep.

I read more.

Today I went to get a COVID test because Stella has had a fever for three days- my temp was elevated until this morning. I have a spicy tickle in the back of my throat, but nothing major, and I'm keeping the paranoia and anxiety at bay.

I haven't had the urge to drink despite the stress, however. If I was still drinking I would make worse choices and be left with unmanageable and crippling anxiety. Instead I'll try to be as productive as possible and also try to give myself grace and make myself relax. 

By taking care of myself and listening to my body I am being productive. I have to remind myself this constantly because if I don't the anxiety will surge in along with the self-destructive impatience with myself and M.